Quality time vs quantity time

While I am trying hard to be the best working mom possible and starting up a business, I feel like I am failing in every direction.   Nothing gets done on time, I don’t feel appreciated at work,  I am feeling guilty and stressed not to be able to see my babies.  I feel trapped, unhappy and exhausted.  I repeat to myself:  the quality time you spend with kids matters not the quantity time! But then what type of quality time can you have after 6pm? We are all tired, trying to put together dinner after a long day (boring in my case).  Girls would like to just sit down after the long hours of being at day care, they are already tired and ready to take their bath and go night night an hour later we come home.   My youngest one is fussy because I don’t want to put her to sleep right away.  She cries and screams which makes it hard to concentrate on the “quality” of the time.

Not getting the results I would like to hear from the suppliers makes me angry because I know this is the only way to escape from my full time job.  Sneaking out to door before 5, so I can be with my kids half hour more instead of killing time on the internet (like everybody else at work), makes me feel like a high school kid ditching school to go to the movies! Sunday nights are brutal! Always end up me with teary eyes rocking my little one before putting her to her crib.  I am sad because Monday will be another beginning of a 5 day work week  away from angel.

I am almost happy that one of the kids have a fever so I have an excuse to stay home with her. I can hold her in my arms before putting her to sleep or I see her right after her nap.  I know exactly what she ate, what she played with.  I had time to just sit and watch her run around the house, or show her how to blow a kiss goodbye.  I teach her the animal sounds, gentle touches to doggies.  We read books together, sing songs and dance to the music.  We go outside to feel the sun, ride the buggy, blow bubbles and eat snacks whenever we want to.  We don’t have to rush, everything is on our pace.  We can just live the moment and take a deep long silent breath!

I believe this sounds like a quality time and I will do anything to make it happen before my babies grow up.


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