Going back to full time job

I stayed home with my first one for 3.5 months, knowing my mom was here to take care of her and working under different management were satisfying enough to go back to work (my division just got bought by a bigger company before I went on a maternity leave) so it was kind a exciting to know that I was part of a different (more successful) team.  The story behind this though: a week shy from my maternity leave, my former company announced that the division which I was part of for  2 years, got sold out to a different company. About 25 employees received their employment offers from the new company with a sign up bonus, 3% raise, and a better health care, 401K benefits.  Guess what?  I was the only one who didn’t receive a job offer!  They simply wanted to terminate me! I wasn’t offered to stay or go like the rest of us! Why? Because I was pregnant! We are in 21st Century and they think they can get rid of a pregnant woman by not including her in the sell of the division with her other 25 co-workers who aren’t pregnant or fatally ill or offer her to continue her job working for the other division (which I have been working on 40% of those projects).  Give me a break! This was the last thing I would want to deal with at the end of a 36 weeks of pregnancy and working hard to be at work every day not calling sick once!

After a brief and lame talk with VP of  HR who was really good at making it sound like she is on your side! I went home and took my dogs for a walk.  I remember calling one of my best friend at a time, and hearing her vivid voice about the whole thing.  I decided I needed to react to it at somehow.   When you are pregnant this far for the first time, all of your concentration is about the baby and not about the carrier, at least it was like that for me.   After dinner, sitting outside at the patio, I remember talking to my father in law and him describing me in a heated tone of voice that this was in fact discrimination! That night, I knew I had to do something to gain everybody’s peace back.  With the help of my father in law who is a great writer ( a  fighter), I sent a reply to a “welcome” email from the president of the new company outlining the discrimination law against pregnant women at work stating  The Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978.   Next thing you know I was offered a job like everybody else (but later I found out that I had a 1.5% raise instead of 3% ) and I had a job to go back after the baby.

After my second baby, when it was close to time to go back to work, I cried for about 6 days in a row.  I knew when you go back, you go back, and the precious time with your baby is ending.  Knowing what I was going back to, ( poor management, lame projects, looser team) I believed my baby needed me more than my job did but financially I needed to make a responsible decision for the best of the family.  After I returned to work I cried everyday for a month.  One day I remember packing all my stuff in a box ready to resign! I changed my mind when I came across with a blog that suggested to give it a few more weeks after the return.  That is what I did.  I sucked it up and stayed at work.  I was justifying the hours away from my baby calculating the amount of time she spends sleeping and visiting her every day at lunch time for 6 months.  I asked the care taker not to feed her or to put her to sleep until I came visit at 11:30am so I could rock her and feed her before her second nap.  It was tough, but I knew she was ok.  It was more me not to be able to hold her while I was at work trying to kill time, being put down by every chance I try to be creative.

Then one night after every body went to sleep, I was thinking if my clothes for next day were ironed.  I thought it could be fun to wear coordinated outfits with my girls.  I thought that would make me feel connected but didn’t really have anything match nor I really didn’t want to match with a toddler.  Then I thought what if I could find matching shoes, just like my flats but the ones that match with my girls?  Wouldn’t that be so fun and just cool? I would still look stylish but feel connected to my girls all day long. I went online and typed:” mommy and me shoes”=  Nothing.  Hmmm. Nobody had this idea before? Then it clicked.  This was my mission.  My mission to accomplish.  The mission that will get me out of this cubicle!


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